Sitting on the couch reading to the kids. Tristan is ansy and I give him the 1-2-3 then give him his time out. Or I watch myself giving him his time-out. I see the time-out given. He is angry, I see that, and I feel that with any slightest bit of anger, I lose myself, I lose the sense of myself. I lose awareness. I never want to lose that. I feel it ebbs and flows.
I read to Elena and then went and got Tristan up--he was happy. We put on our shoes and went down to take out the trash. Outside, in the brightness of the day, I almost felt I was floating. It wasn't really the 'me' walking or the 'me' seeing. Cars, the reflections of light, form everywhere. Breathing. There.
Brought the kids to school, dropped them off in the industrial area. While driving I felt the total car presence with other drivers.
Then at the post office, waiting in line. Two women in front of me laugh, a man in front of them. The co-presence of a line can be the most beautiful part of the day. I noticed from a clock on the wall it had only been 15 minutes since I'd dropped the kids off. 15 minutes, and it felt like days, like an eternity, beautifully. I could have stayed in that line, as if on an island with these other lovely souls, forever.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
just us/justice
the whole world
a big open ooooom
a big circle in space
we regard each other
the lovely muslimschristiansgaysstraightschineseamericangolferhusbanddaughte
rnursefriendetc
all mixed up
all changing
all good
U
R
gooooooood.
a big open ooooom
a big circle in space
we regard each other
the lovely muslimschristiansgaysstraightschineseamericangolferhusbanddaughte
rnursefriendetc
all mixed up
all changing
all good
U
R
gooooooood.
Not looking
for another relationship
for a new home
for a new job
for a new body
for something to eat
to have fun
to be entertained.
Just looking
to say hello
to have a conversation
or not
Just being
A just being
for a new home
for a new job
for a new body
for something to eat
to have fun
to be entertained.
Just looking
to say hello
to have a conversation
or not
Just being
A just being
So much space
to open up into
with each habit lost
with each emotion felt
with each person appreciated
with each little sound that's heard
there's a space
so much time
so much energy
so much
with each habit lost
with each emotion felt
with each person appreciated
with each little sound that's heard
there's a space
so much time
so much energy
so much
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
The Internet is a Giant Brain
Full of gold and garbage,
And I swim in this collective mass,
Searching for points of resonance,
of collusion, of interest, of growth.
Everything I see
Reflects me.
Simultaneously anonymous and painfully public,
Infinitely maleable
It's our human thing.
Look, universe: us.
And we look at it and into it,
Spiralling, playing, reading, displaying
Pulling out pushing in
Mysterious to others in our homes
Into our own heads as we browse the collective one
Often giggling!
Sometimes horrified.
And sometimes even innocent.
We search we search we search
and always, always end up coming back
to ourselves.
And I swim in this collective mass,
Searching for points of resonance,
of collusion, of interest, of growth.
Everything I see
Reflects me.
Simultaneously anonymous and painfully public,
Infinitely maleable
It's our human thing.
Look, universe: us.
And we look at it and into it,
Spiralling, playing, reading, displaying
Pulling out pushing in
Mysterious to others in our homes
Into our own heads as we browse the collective one
Often giggling!
Sometimes horrified.
And sometimes even innocent.
We search we search we search
and always, always end up coming back
to ourselves.
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